She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
