Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
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i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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