We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
