are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
