It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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