were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
