When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
