No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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