beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
