You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
