last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
