Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
