The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
