I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
