So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
