Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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