Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Welp...herpes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
