ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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