Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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