Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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