I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
