My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
