I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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