I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
