exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
