I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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