All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize