Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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