Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
