all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm like, not good at living.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
