i think i have herpe
just one?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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