Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
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first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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