i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
