stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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