So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got inside last night via doggy door
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
