I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
