: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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