I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i will never coherently bang her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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