Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just cropdusted the office
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
