Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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