We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
