I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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