how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
