i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize