nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
