Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
