i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
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I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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