I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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