I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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