Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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