she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
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I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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