he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
