on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
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You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thank you for not boning my boss.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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