honey bunches of taint.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
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i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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