HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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