yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
