That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
