Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize