I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
