U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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