I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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