Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize