he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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