my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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