I hate your face
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
