White coat. Heels.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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