i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
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So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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