my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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