If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
